Kate (Scroll down for transcript)

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Key Learnings

How to use Kate's Inner Work to Advance your Own Inner Work.

Steps to Deepen your Own Inner Work

Ways to learn more about IFS with Melissa.

Next Steps

With Melissa’s expert guidance, Kate learns to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion, transforming harsh inner commands into a more relational, “I”-centered dialogue. Discover how some parts of her psyche might be manifesting illness as a cry for rest, while others fear losing control if she slows down. Kate’s candid reflections on her past struggles with eating issues add a layer of depth, highlighting the delicate balance between self-care and rigidity.This session is a masterclass in fostering internal harmony, offering practical insights to help you navigate your own inner landscape. By the end, Kate experiences a profound softening and clarity, leaving her—and you—with a renewed sense of hope and empowerment.If you’re ready to break free from internal conflict, embrace self-compassion, and create a healthier relationship with your inner critics, this IFS session may a helpful roadmap to transformation.<ul><li>Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model in Action:<ul><li>Understanding how different "parts" of the psyche interact, such as managers, exiles, and firefighters.</li><li>Recognizing that internal conflicts often stem from protective mechanisms rather than personal failure.</li></ul></li><li>The Role of Anxiety and Self-Criticism:<ul><li>Anxiety often manifests as a high-alert team ensuring safety and social acceptance.</li><li>Self-critical parts may be trying to push for improvement but can be counterproductive.</li></ul></li><li>Impact of Trauma and Past Experiences:<ul><li>Previous experiences with eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) contribute to fears about rigid self-discipline.</li><li>Childhood messages, such as being "too sensitive," can create deep-seated patterns of shame and self-judgment.</li></ul></li><li>Body and Mind Connection:<ul><li>Physical symptoms (e.g., recurring sinus infections) may be tied to emotional and psychological resistance.</li><li>The body may "force" rest when internal managers refuse to allow it voluntarily.</li></ul></li><li>Balancing Productivity and Rest:<ul><li>Conflict between the “taskmaster” who demands constant productivity and the part that desires rest.</li><li>Fear of becoming directionless or falling into depression without external pressure.</li></ul></li><li>The Power of Language and Self-Compassion:<ul><li>Shifting from "you should" (managerial, critical) to "I feel" (self-led, relational) can create internal harmony.</li><li>Recognizing managers as allies rather than enemies can transform inner dialogue.</li></ul></li><li>The Role of Emotional Moderators:<ul><li>Internal moderators—firefighters—help regulate overwhelming emotions to keep the system functional.</li><li>Recognizing and appreciating these parts fosters a sense of internal safety.</li></ul></li><li>Developing a New Relationship with the Self:<ul><li>Managers can evolve by learning new, gentler strategies rather than relying on force or criticism.</li><li>The goal isn’t to eliminate parts but to bring them into healthier relationships with each other.</li></ul></li></ul>

With Melissa’s expert guidance, Kate learns to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion, transforming harsh inner commands into a more relational, “I”-centered dialogue.

Kate (1): Helping Managers Soften—Shifting “You Should” to “I” Statements

Deeper Intimacy with Yourself 

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Kate (1): Helping Managers Soften—Shifting “You Should” to “I” Statements

Melissa Sandfort

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